have you ever wanted to buy gold or silver, but realized they were too expensive?
did you ever wanna see y t t r i u m - g i r l s?
do you wanna see a naked ytterbium man?
do you wanna see PRASEODYMIUM DIE!?
well then, you've come to the right place.
come and purchase pure osmium from RADIUM FIFTEEN. where you can see 15 isotopes of radium at once.
our osmium is processed through the factory, so that it tastes good!
all of our osmium is prepared before it goes onto your plate.
come and buy pure osmium, and you'll get ONE of the following as well;
ACTUAL L U T E T I U M
real life i.r.i.d.i.u.m.
cooking from cerium
and an airplane from rhenium.
buy our osmium now!
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
vanadium
have you ever wanted free rhodium? are you broke and want to mine for rhodium?
have you wanted gold but you realized that gold and silver are too expensive?
have you ever wanted hafnium to go away from zirconium?
well you've come to the right PLACE!
welcome to RHODIUM WORLD.
where you can get all the rhodium you can.
just punch titanium's stomach and a piece of rhodium will come out of his mouth.
i guarantee, then you can sell the rhodium and become rich!
it's that simple!
just go to MOLYBDENUM LOVES MEN dot com and buy all the osmium and then we will eat pieces of ruthenium together with rhenium. alright?
have you wanted gold but you realized that gold and silver are too expensive?
have you ever wanted hafnium to go away from zirconium?
well you've come to the right PLACE!
welcome to RHODIUM WORLD.
where you can get all the rhodium you can.
just punch titanium's stomach and a piece of rhodium will come out of his mouth.
i guarantee, then you can sell the rhodium and become rich!
it's that simple!
just go to MOLYBDENUM LOVES MEN dot com and buy all the osmium and then we will eat pieces of ruthenium together with rhenium. alright?
Monday, November 26, 2018
the adventures of iridium
one day, iridium was in the meadow, when suddenly, she found a piece of actual rhodium on the floor.
iridium was so excited; she found actual rhodium!
however, the rhodium was a trap.
IRIDIUM WAS KILLED.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i wonder how osmium is gonna react to this?
osmium: i couldn't care less. she was a heavy burden! thank goodness iridium was killed.
iridium was so excited; she found actual rhodium!
however, the rhodium was a trap.
IRIDIUM WAS KILLED.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i wonder how osmium is gonna react to this?
osmium: i couldn't care less. she was a heavy burden! thank goodness iridium was killed.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
praseodymium
Hey there! I think you saw my previous post, the Lutetium one.
Well Neodymium forced me to write this one. This one's all about me, I promise!
My name is Praseodymium. My name comes from the Greek myth "Persephone," which I LOVE!
I'm Neodymium's twin sister. Neodymium wants to create "neodymium light signs," which Neon doesn't approve of. I wish he'd spend more time outside with ME!
I love frolicking in the woods with my animal friends! Isn't that right? However, many threats come to hurt me...
Anyways, about my friends... I try to be friends with Lutetium, but I hate the fact that she thinks more of her flute than other elements. That's sad. I like Lutetium and her flute music.
I also want to be friends with Cerium, but her cooking is AWFUL! And she forces me to eat her cooking every day, so...
And then, there's Lanthanum. Lanthanum is a strange guy. He is a playwright; a strange one that is. He makes strange plays...
There's also Beryllium, a very sarcastic element that hates everyone. Even his own parents! Wow. Beryllium is very lonely. He's green, just like me... I wish I could be his friends...
Finally, there's Ytterbium and Yttrium. They always talk about "ponies" and "the taste of pure strontium" but again that's just them. Why would they eat pure strontium anyways?
Anyways, I think that nature is a better choice for friends, since most of the animals here are kinds... except maybe the giant monsters that come and grab and eat me...
Love, Praseodymium! ♥
Well Neodymium forced me to write this one. This one's all about me, I promise!
My name is Praseodymium. My name comes from the Greek myth "Persephone," which I LOVE!
I'm Neodymium's twin sister. Neodymium wants to create "neodymium light signs," which Neon doesn't approve of. I wish he'd spend more time outside with ME!
I love frolicking in the woods with my animal friends! Isn't that right? However, many threats come to hurt me...
Anyways, about my friends... I try to be friends with Lutetium, but I hate the fact that she thinks more of her flute than other elements. That's sad. I like Lutetium and her flute music.
I also want to be friends with Cerium, but her cooking is AWFUL! And she forces me to eat her cooking every day, so...
And then, there's Lanthanum. Lanthanum is a strange guy. He is a playwright; a strange one that is. He makes strange plays...
There's also Beryllium, a very sarcastic element that hates everyone. Even his own parents! Wow. Beryllium is very lonely. He's green, just like me... I wish I could be his friends...
Finally, there's Ytterbium and Yttrium. They always talk about "ponies" and "the taste of pure strontium" but again that's just them. Why would they eat pure strontium anyways?
Anyways, I think that nature is a better choice for friends, since most of the animals here are kinds... except maybe the giant monsters that come and grab and eat me...
Love, Praseodymium! ♥
lutetium
lutetium is a flute player. a really good one, that is.
lutetium is an expert at playing the flute.
lutetium is a lanthanide, the last lanthanide in fact.
she likes looking at constellations, especially special ones. she has a telescope at home, and wants to discover a new planet.
lutetium is the daughter of Lutetia, Latin name of Paris.
she is friends with ytterbium and yttrium; in fact, one of their only friends, as everyone else thinks they're weird.
lutetium has beautiful dark-colored hair, and wears a beautiful dress all the time. she is rarely seen not playing a flute.
and I hate her.
praseodymium: now, neodymium, can we STOP WITH IT!? i want to write an essay about myself.
neodymium: fine, sister. FINE.
lutetium is an expert at playing the flute.
lutetium is a lanthanide, the last lanthanide in fact.
she likes looking at constellations, especially special ones. she has a telescope at home, and wants to discover a new planet.
lutetium is the daughter of Lutetia, Latin name of Paris.
she is friends with ytterbium and yttrium; in fact, one of their only friends, as everyone else thinks they're weird.
lutetium has beautiful dark-colored hair, and wears a beautiful dress all the time. she is rarely seen not playing a flute.
and I hate her.
praseodymium: now, neodymium, can we STOP WITH IT!? i want to write an essay about myself.
neodymium: fine, sister. FINE.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
ruthenium and rhodium
Yay! Another story about two precious elements, who think very much about themselves.
----------------------------------------------
Ruthenium - A very sassy girl. A very precious metal, has a rivalry with Rhodium.
Rhodium - A gentleman from Rhode Island. Very precious metal, has a rival with all the other precious metals.
----------------------------------------------
One day, Ruthenium was alone, waiting for her bus, until Rhodium comes and joins her at the stop.
Ruthenium: Rhodium, where are you going?
Rhodium: Where are you going, precious?
Ruthenium: Don't HIT on me. I don't like you that much.
Rhodium: Well, that was a little rude. But you are a precious metal, after all.
Ruthenium: Please stop hitting on me; I know I'm a precious metal, but you're phrasing it wrong!
Rhodium: Whatever, I've got better things to do than argue with you.
The bus comes. Ruthenium boards the bus, but it turns out...
Rhodium: To answer your question, Ruthenium, I'm going to go to the mall; how about you?
Ruthenium: Get away from me!
----------------------------------------------
Cadmium was dressing up Ruthenium.
Ruthenium: So, how do you think I look, Mrs. Cadmium?
Cadmium: I think you look gorgeous. I think you could beat any element in a fashion contest! After all, you are beautiful.
Ruthenium: Thanks, Cadmium, for the compliments.
Cadmium: Hey, no problem.
-----------------------------------------------
Rhodium: Hey, fellow Rhode Islanders! Long time no see!
Person #1: You look as charming as ever, Rhodium.
Rhodium: I know, right? I'm the element that represents Rhode Island! People think well of me, so Rhode Island will get a great reception!
Person #2: I'm so glad the element committee chose you to be an element. Rhode Island is well represented, and there have been more tourists than usual lately!
Rhodium: I know, am I right?
-----------------------------------------------
Ruthenium: Hey, how beautiful do you think I look, Lutetium?
lutetium was too busy playing her flute.
Ruthenium: Lutetium? You OK?
lutetium walks away, still playing her flute.
Ruthenium: Her loss.
-----------------------------------------------
Rhodium: Hey, how do you think I look, gentlemen?
Lanthanum: Your suit is so shiny today. Why?
Europium: I think he's going to Europe!
Lanthanum: I agree with you.
Holmium: Will he visit Sweden? I hope so!
Rhodium: No, I'm not going to Europe, and I'm DEFINITELY not visiting Sweden any time soon.
holmium holds his head down in shame.
-----------------------------------------------
Ruthenium vs Rhodium - FASHION BATTLES!
Ruthenium goes on stage, and shows herself off. She poses, for the audience. Everyone was amazed by her.
Ruthenium: I hope you enjoy my looks, and I hope I won this fashion battle!
Ruthenium leaves. Rhodium comes, and then...
the cheering got louder, and some girls screamed "MARRY ME RHODIUM!" Ruthenium looked back, and...
The judges' scores for Rhodium were higher than Ruthenium. Ruthenium was shocked... and angry...
Ruthenium: Whatever! I'll win the next fashion contest, WITHOUT Rhodium in it! It's not my fault he's from Rhode Island!
Rhodium: Glad I could win, guys and gals!
ruthenium storms off.
------------------------------------------------
next time, on oxygen the element stories, molybdenum will throw titanium out a window, nitrogen will realize that she's a lonely girl, palladium will fight off a huge monster that kidnaps ununtrium and ununseptium, arsenic poisons someone, osmium fights rhenium in an airplane battle, praseodymium and neodymium operate a business, copper will cast a spell on titanium, and cadmium will paint a huge painting!
-----------------------------------------------
argon was snoring...
neon: really?
krypton: i know, the guy will never wake up!
xenon: 01001111 01001011 00101110
----------------------------------------------
Ruthenium - A very sassy girl. A very precious metal, has a rivalry with Rhodium.
Rhodium - A gentleman from Rhode Island. Very precious metal, has a rival with all the other precious metals.
----------------------------------------------
One day, Ruthenium was alone, waiting for her bus, until Rhodium comes and joins her at the stop.
Ruthenium: Rhodium, where are you going?
Rhodium: Where are you going, precious?
Ruthenium: Don't HIT on me. I don't like you that much.
Rhodium: Well, that was a little rude. But you are a precious metal, after all.
Ruthenium: Please stop hitting on me; I know I'm a precious metal, but you're phrasing it wrong!
Rhodium: Whatever, I've got better things to do than argue with you.
The bus comes. Ruthenium boards the bus, but it turns out...
Rhodium: To answer your question, Ruthenium, I'm going to go to the mall; how about you?
Ruthenium: Get away from me!
----------------------------------------------
Cadmium was dressing up Ruthenium.
Ruthenium: So, how do you think I look, Mrs. Cadmium?
Cadmium: I think you look gorgeous. I think you could beat any element in a fashion contest! After all, you are beautiful.
Ruthenium: Thanks, Cadmium, for the compliments.
Cadmium: Hey, no problem.
-----------------------------------------------
Rhodium: Hey, fellow Rhode Islanders! Long time no see!
Person #1: You look as charming as ever, Rhodium.
Rhodium: I know, right? I'm the element that represents Rhode Island! People think well of me, so Rhode Island will get a great reception!
Person #2: I'm so glad the element committee chose you to be an element. Rhode Island is well represented, and there have been more tourists than usual lately!
Rhodium: I know, am I right?
-----------------------------------------------
Ruthenium: Hey, how beautiful do you think I look, Lutetium?
lutetium was too busy playing her flute.
Ruthenium: Lutetium? You OK?
lutetium walks away, still playing her flute.
Ruthenium: Her loss.
-----------------------------------------------
Rhodium: Hey, how do you think I look, gentlemen?
Lanthanum: Your suit is so shiny today. Why?
Europium: I think he's going to Europe!
Lanthanum: I agree with you.
Holmium: Will he visit Sweden? I hope so!
Rhodium: No, I'm not going to Europe, and I'm DEFINITELY not visiting Sweden any time soon.
holmium holds his head down in shame.
-----------------------------------------------
Ruthenium vs Rhodium - FASHION BATTLES!
Ruthenium goes on stage, and shows herself off. She poses, for the audience. Everyone was amazed by her.
Ruthenium: I hope you enjoy my looks, and I hope I won this fashion battle!
Ruthenium leaves. Rhodium comes, and then...
the cheering got louder, and some girls screamed "MARRY ME RHODIUM!" Ruthenium looked back, and...
The judges' scores for Rhodium were higher than Ruthenium. Ruthenium was shocked... and angry...
Ruthenium: Whatever! I'll win the next fashion contest, WITHOUT Rhodium in it! It's not my fault he's from Rhode Island!
Rhodium: Glad I could win, guys and gals!
ruthenium storms off.
------------------------------------------------
next time, on oxygen the element stories, molybdenum will throw titanium out a window, nitrogen will realize that she's a lonely girl, palladium will fight off a huge monster that kidnaps ununtrium and ununseptium, arsenic poisons someone, osmium fights rhenium in an airplane battle, praseodymium and neodymium operate a business, copper will cast a spell on titanium, and cadmium will paint a huge painting!
-----------------------------------------------
argon was snoring...
neon: really?
krypton: i know, the guy will never wake up!
xenon: 01001111 01001011 00101110
RANDOMNESS 3
Yet another story. Fun!
-------------------------------------
Cesium: Today, I'll be GRADING your science fair project! Let's see what you've got! First up is Terbium!
Terbium: Today, I did a project called "Which teacher reacts most violently to a spitball?" I spat spitballs at my teacher for 10 days in a row.
day 1 - got a warning
day 2 - got a detention
day 3 - got a detention
day 4 - got a detention
day 5 - got a detention
day 6 - got a detention
day 7 - got a referral to the principal's office
day 8 - got sent home
day 9 - got a parent-teacher conference
day 10 - got suspended
conclusion: spitting spitballs at teachers are a good idea
Cesium: That is the stupidest science fair project EVER. Also it's about spitballs. DETENTION FOR YOU! What have you got, Holmium?
Holmium: Holy holmium! I forgot to do mines!
Cesium: Well, you just failed science class. Next up is Barium!
Barium: It was about FIREWORKS!
Cesium: ...and?
Barium: I DESTROYED things with fireworks!
Cesium: I do not APPROVE at all! A BIG FAT ZERO, BARIUM! AND A DETENTION!
Barium: Cesium...
Cesium: Uh, anyways, next up is Rubidium and Strontium, who worked together on a project.
“WHICH ISOTOPE OF FRANCIUM MAKES THE BEST EXPLOSION IN WATER? by rubidium n’ strontium”
cesium: rubidium, strontium, free detentions for you two. francium is no joke. and you, oxygen?
Oxygen: I did a boring project about soils and plants. However, it's not completely boring; I included an extra plant pot; a plant pot with marijuana with it!
cesium: oxygen, you're going to go to the authorities, and… a SUSPENSION.
Oxygen faints.
Cesium: Dysprosium?
dysprosium runs away, like expected.
Cesium: I'll take that as a "I didn't do it." And also, he gets a detention. How about you, Molybdenum?
molybdenum grabs cesium by the collar of his shirt.
Molybdenum: "Which Throwing Angle hurts Cesium the most?"
molybdenum throws cesium out a window.
Molybdenum: Good news. No more school for the rest of the year. Thank me.
------------------------------------------------
Francium: I got some more zinc supplements! Wanna see?
Radium: Sure!
francium pops the zinc in his mouth, and he goes into rainbows. radium also takes some zinc.
however, some police see them take the zinc and then they arrest the two elements.
-------------------------------------------------
Neodymium was playing with some neodymium magnets.
Neodymium: Sister, I don't know what to do anymore... I got sued by Neon and I lost my business...
Praseodymium: How about you can go frolic in the woods with me together?
Neodymium: No.
praseodymium goes outside and frolics in the woods, but then a monster grabs her and eats her.
Neodymium: WHAT!?
------------------------------------------------
Lutetium: I'm one of the only elements that knows how to play an instrument, the flute. I play my flute all the time; I'm a professional flutist.
Praseodymium: Wow, I'm jealous! I wish I could play an instrument. Don't worry, I can sing! I sing all the time while frolicking in the woods.
praseodymium sings, but the stage lights crash down on her.
------------------------------------------------
Rhodium: Hey! You know what it takes to be a true lady, Ruthenium?
Ruthenium: Yes! A sense of beauty and brains!
Rhodium: Ugh, whatever. To be a true gentleman, you have to come from Rhode Island.
Ruthenium: I'm telling Platinum.
------------------------------------------------
iridium was skipping around, naked, in the meadow.
You: PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!
osmium catches iridium, naked, and then scolds her for not wearing anything.
Iridium: But I get to feel the breeze on my body!
------------------------------------------------
Thorium: I'm bored today, Americium. What do you want to do?
Americium: Bully the undiscovered elements!
thorium goes up to ununoctium and punches him.
At Iodide Hospital...
Iodine: Are you alright!?
Ununoctium: No, I just got punched by a kid named Thorium...
Iodine: Hmm... you should drink this!
iodine gives ununoctium the wrong solution, and instead, ununoctium has a seizure.
Iodine: Oops, you're not supposed to drink titanium bromide.
-------------------------------------------------
Cerium: Today, it's time to COOK for ununpentium!
Cerium cooks food that expired a long time ago.
Cerium: Here you go!
ununpentium eats the food and throws up.
-------------------------------------------------
Tellurium: Hello there. My name is Tellurium... I appreciate Chinese culture a lot. I'm even wearing some Chinese clothing right now... how do you think of my qipao?
Selenium: Nice, Tellurium.
Tellurium blushes.
--------------------------------------------------
Next time, on Randomness, will Selenium EVER learn 1 + 1? Will Molybdenum redeem himself? Will Samarium save his family? What will badly injure Praseodymium next time? Why were Radium and Francium arrested? Will Germanium and Silicon create a new phone? Will Beryllium be sarcastic again? Will Erbium ever STOP collecting jewelry? Will Palladium ever defeat the monster that killed y-t-t-r-i-u-m g-i-r-l-s? Is palladium still relevant!?
Ununoctium: no.
Will Gallium EVER stop talking about Georgia?
Find out in the next issue of RANDOMNESS.
-------------------------------------
Cesium: Today, I'll be GRADING your science fair project! Let's see what you've got! First up is Terbium!
Terbium: Today, I did a project called "Which teacher reacts most violently to a spitball?" I spat spitballs at my teacher for 10 days in a row.
day 1 - got a warning
day 2 - got a detention
day 3 - got a detention
day 4 - got a detention
day 5 - got a detention
day 6 - got a detention
day 7 - got a referral to the principal's office
day 8 - got sent home
day 9 - got a parent-teacher conference
day 10 - got suspended
conclusion: spitting spitballs at teachers are a good idea
Cesium: That is the stupidest science fair project EVER. Also it's about spitballs. DETENTION FOR YOU! What have you got, Holmium?
Holmium: Holy holmium! I forgot to do mines!
Cesium: Well, you just failed science class. Next up is Barium!
Barium: It was about FIREWORKS!
Cesium: ...and?
Barium: I DESTROYED things with fireworks!
Cesium: I do not APPROVE at all! A BIG FAT ZERO, BARIUM! AND A DETENTION!
Barium: Cesium...
Cesium: Uh, anyways, next up is Rubidium and Strontium, who worked together on a project.
“WHICH ISOTOPE OF FRANCIUM MAKES THE BEST EXPLOSION IN WATER? by rubidium n’ strontium”
cesium: rubidium, strontium, free detentions for you two. francium is no joke. and you, oxygen?
Oxygen: I did a boring project about soils and plants. However, it's not completely boring; I included an extra plant pot; a plant pot with marijuana with it!
cesium: oxygen, you're going to go to the authorities, and… a SUSPENSION.
Oxygen faints.
Cesium: Dysprosium?
dysprosium runs away, like expected.
Cesium: I'll take that as a "I didn't do it." And also, he gets a detention. How about you, Molybdenum?
molybdenum grabs cesium by the collar of his shirt.
Molybdenum: "Which Throwing Angle hurts Cesium the most?"
molybdenum throws cesium out a window.
Molybdenum: Good news. No more school for the rest of the year. Thank me.
------------------------------------------------
Francium: I got some more zinc supplements! Wanna see?
Radium: Sure!
francium pops the zinc in his mouth, and he goes into rainbows. radium also takes some zinc.
however, some police see them take the zinc and then they arrest the two elements.
-------------------------------------------------
Neodymium was playing with some neodymium magnets.
Neodymium: Sister, I don't know what to do anymore... I got sued by Neon and I lost my business...
Praseodymium: How about you can go frolic in the woods with me together?
Neodymium: No.
praseodymium goes outside and frolics in the woods, but then a monster grabs her and eats her.
Neodymium: WHAT!?
------------------------------------------------
Lutetium: I'm one of the only elements that knows how to play an instrument, the flute. I play my flute all the time; I'm a professional flutist.
Praseodymium: Wow, I'm jealous! I wish I could play an instrument. Don't worry, I can sing! I sing all the time while frolicking in the woods.
praseodymium sings, but the stage lights crash down on her.
------------------------------------------------
Rhodium: Hey! You know what it takes to be a true lady, Ruthenium?
Ruthenium: Yes! A sense of beauty and brains!
Rhodium: Ugh, whatever. To be a true gentleman, you have to come from Rhode Island.
Ruthenium: I'm telling Platinum.
------------------------------------------------
iridium was skipping around, naked, in the meadow.
You: PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!
osmium catches iridium, naked, and then scolds her for not wearing anything.
Iridium: But I get to feel the breeze on my body!
------------------------------------------------
Thorium: I'm bored today, Americium. What do you want to do?
Americium: Bully the undiscovered elements!
thorium goes up to ununoctium and punches him.
At Iodide Hospital...
Iodine: Are you alright!?
Ununoctium: No, I just got punched by a kid named Thorium...
Iodine: Hmm... you should drink this!
iodine gives ununoctium the wrong solution, and instead, ununoctium has a seizure.
Iodine: Oops, you're not supposed to drink titanium bromide.
-------------------------------------------------
Cerium: Today, it's time to COOK for ununpentium!
Cerium cooks food that expired a long time ago.
Cerium: Here you go!
ununpentium eats the food and throws up.
-------------------------------------------------
Tellurium: Hello there. My name is Tellurium... I appreciate Chinese culture a lot. I'm even wearing some Chinese clothing right now... how do you think of my qipao?
Selenium: Nice, Tellurium.
Tellurium blushes.
--------------------------------------------------
Next time, on Randomness, will Selenium EVER learn 1 + 1? Will Molybdenum redeem himself? Will Samarium save his family? What will badly injure Praseodymium next time? Why were Radium and Francium arrested? Will Germanium and Silicon create a new phone? Will Beryllium be sarcastic again? Will Erbium ever STOP collecting jewelry? Will Palladium ever defeat the monster that killed y-t-t-r-i-u-m g-i-r-l-s? Is palladium still relevant!?
Ununoctium: no.
Will Gallium EVER stop talking about Georgia?
Find out in the next issue of RANDOMNESS.
RANDOMNESS 2
5th story!
Not canon.
---------------------------------
Cesium: Today, we're going to be writing essays!
Everyone except Titanium complains.
a few hours later
Cesium: Now, READ YOUR ESSAYS OUT LOUD TO THE CLASS! First up is Rubidium!
Rubidium: OK!
The Element Cesium
Cesium is an element. Cesium is number 55 on the periodic table with symbol Cs. It's the second most reactive alkali, next to Francium. Someone once dropped a piece of cesium in water and the whole bathtub exploded.
Cesium: Hey! It's about me this time! Good job, Rubidium.
cesium actually... smiles?
Cesium: You don't get a detention today. NEXT!
gadolinium
gadolinium is a useless lanthanide nobody uses these days. actually, they were used in an MRI causing a lawsuit so i don't think gadolinium will have any uses in the near future.
Cesium: Not ANOTHER "gadolinium" essay... but whatever, you get off without having another dete-
terbium spits a spitball at cesium.
Terbium: YAY! I DON'T GET DETENTION THIS TIME!
cesium: for that spitball, you just got yourself a free detention. i was about to let you off without one until you spat that spitball at me. next?
Titanium comes up. He shows his essay.
you shoot me down
but i won't fall
i am titanium
Cesium: Really? Detention for you.
Titanium: OH COME ON!
Cesium notices Argon sleeping.
Cesium: Wakey-wakey, lazybones. Detention for sleeping and not writing your essay.
Argon's snoring got even louder.
Cesium: ...Next is Lutetium.
Lutetium was busy playing her flute, instead of writing an essay.
Cesium: ...seriously? DETENTION FOR YOU. Next up is Holmium!
Stockholm, Sweden
Sweden is a country with about ten million people living in it. It has a blue and gold Nordic Cross as the flag. It's one of the Scandinavian countries.
Stockholm has 2.3 million people living in the metro area. It's the capital of Sweden. I come from Stockholm Sweden, and I was named after that city!
Holmium: Please don't give me a detention...
Cesium: Your essay was somewhat decent. 85.
Holmium: Holy holmium! YES!
Holmium does a happy dance, but crashes into Strontium.
Strontium: Hey! Watch it! Want fireworks in your eyes!?
Holmium: Holy holmium! NO!
strontium sticks fireworks in holmium's eyes anyways.
Cesium: Strontium, nice job.
Strontium: Thanks!
Cesium: Your reward? A free detention, with ME! See me after SCHOOL!
Strontium: OH COME ON!
-------------------------------------------------
Neodymium: Wow. Neon started his own business? Of neon light signs? I'm impressed. Shocked, even. But you know what? I have a better idea. Watch and learn, Praseodymium!
A few days later...
a few days later, neodymium gets a lawsuit from neon.
you copied my business. you just copied the name except you replaced it with "neodymium." and your "neodymium" light signs are bad; they're just light signs stuffed with neodymium! i'm suing you!
Neodymium: Wow. Never knew THAT would happen.
----------------------------------------------------
Today, Barium and Strontium will be fighting over who is better at igniting fireworks; Strontium, or Barium?
Barium: Class is boring. Want to go light some fireworks?
Strontium: Definitely. Where are YOUR fireworks?
Barium: Home. How about you?
Strontium: My backpack!
barium and strontium tip-toe outside of cesium's class, while cesium was giving one of his students a detention. barium goes home to retrieve his fireworks, and then they go to the playground.
Barium: I also created some of these fireworks. You, Strontium?
Strontium: Uh... I didn't.
strontium and barium get into a fireworks war.
----------------------------------------------------
Cesium: So, kids, today we're going to be writing about how great Cesium is of a teacher.
Everyone, especially Rubidium, complains.
Rubidium: There's nothing good about you though!
Cesium: HEY! That's it, Rubidium! YOU GET A FREE DETENTION!
Rubidium: Eh, it was worth the risk.
Dysprosium: Why would I write about you? I'm going.
Dysprosium runs away.
Cesium: Typical of him. He gets a detention afterwards.
a few hours later
Cesium: TIME IS UP! Show your essays to me. If they're incomplete, DETENTION!
Indium: Here's my essay!
cesium is a great great teacher because he gives the bad ones detentions. also his sky blue jacket is really cute and i would like to wear one. he has a good choice of clothing, should i say?
Cesium: Nice job, Indium! No detention today. I wear sky blue because it's my favorite color. Tin is next!
cesium is a good teacher because he is able to endure a class of annoying students like us. if he got an award, it would be "most durable." that's all what i've got to say.
Cesium: Wow. You actually explained my situation. You get a free cookie, Tin.
Everyone Else: NO FAIR!
Cesium: Hey! No complaining or detentions for you all! Next up is Rubidium!
Cesium is a bad teacher because he hates everyone in this class and enjoys giving students detentions. He has a bad music taste and deserves to be dropped into water. Cesium also spends half of his time yelling at his students. He should be fired and replaced by Potassium as a teacher.
cesium tears up rubidium's paper.
Cesium: Rubidium, you just got yourself yet ANOTHER detention.
Rubidium: You've already given me 5 detentions today.
Cesium: Detentions stack up, you know. You've got detentions for the next 5 weeks, you know.
Rubidium: SERIOUSLY!?
Cesium: Next up is Titanium!
i hate cesium
Cesium: No effort? Well good job, Titanium, YOU GOT YOURSELF ANOTHER DETENTION.
Beryllium: Uh, Cesium... did you notice three of your students are missing?
Cesium: I know Dysprosium is... wait... where are barium and strontium?
cesium hears an explosion behind him.
Cesium: Hold on class, I'm going outside.
As soon as Cesium leaves his class, the whole class goes haywire. Cesium goes outside to see that Strontium and Barium were playing with fireworks, and that the playground was destroyed.
Cesium: ...I have no words for this.
The two notice Cesium.
Barium: Oh hi, Cesium!
Cesium: YOU! YOU BLEW UP THE PLAYGROUND! strontium! barium! YOU BOTH ARE EXPELLED!
strontium lies down on the floor, crying.
Cesium: Oh dear Mendeleev...
Cesium comes back, holding Barium and Strontium by their backs.
Cesium: These two troublemakers are expelled. No recess until the parents of Barium & Strontium pay the FINE for destroying a playground.
indium rolls on the floor, crying.
Iridium: Oh, Indium, it's OK! I have to deal with Cesium in school, and Osmium AFTER school!
-----------------------------------------------------
Will Cesium EVER stop giving out detentions!? Will Selenium FINALLY appear? What happens when Gallium teaches school? Will Ytterbium and Yttrium FINALLY stop believing in unicorns? Will Lanthanum go on stage for once? Will Copper use his magic for good? Will Dysprosium STOP running away!?
Find out next time on...
RANDOMNESS!
Not canon.
---------------------------------
Cesium: Today, we're going to be writing essays!
Everyone except Titanium complains.
a few hours later
Cesium: Now, READ YOUR ESSAYS OUT LOUD TO THE CLASS! First up is Rubidium!
Rubidium: OK!
The Element Cesium
Cesium is an element. Cesium is number 55 on the periodic table with symbol Cs. It's the second most reactive alkali, next to Francium. Someone once dropped a piece of cesium in water and the whole bathtub exploded.
Cesium: Hey! It's about me this time! Good job, Rubidium.
cesium actually... smiles?
Cesium: You don't get a detention today. NEXT!
gadolinium
gadolinium is a useless lanthanide nobody uses these days. actually, they were used in an MRI causing a lawsuit so i don't think gadolinium will have any uses in the near future.
Cesium: Not ANOTHER "gadolinium" essay... but whatever, you get off without having another dete-
terbium spits a spitball at cesium.
Terbium: YAY! I DON'T GET DETENTION THIS TIME!
cesium: for that spitball, you just got yourself a free detention. i was about to let you off without one until you spat that spitball at me. next?
Titanium comes up. He shows his essay.
you shoot me down
but i won't fall
i am titanium
Cesium: Really? Detention for you.
Titanium: OH COME ON!
Cesium notices Argon sleeping.
Cesium: Wakey-wakey, lazybones. Detention for sleeping and not writing your essay.
Argon's snoring got even louder.
Cesium: ...Next is Lutetium.
Lutetium was busy playing her flute, instead of writing an essay.
Cesium: ...seriously? DETENTION FOR YOU. Next up is Holmium!
Stockholm, Sweden
Sweden is a country with about ten million people living in it. It has a blue and gold Nordic Cross as the flag. It's one of the Scandinavian countries.
Stockholm has 2.3 million people living in the metro area. It's the capital of Sweden. I come from Stockholm Sweden, and I was named after that city!
Holmium: Please don't give me a detention...
Cesium: Your essay was somewhat decent. 85.
Holmium: Holy holmium! YES!
Holmium does a happy dance, but crashes into Strontium.
Strontium: Hey! Watch it! Want fireworks in your eyes!?
Holmium: Holy holmium! NO!
strontium sticks fireworks in holmium's eyes anyways.
Cesium: Strontium, nice job.
Strontium: Thanks!
Cesium: Your reward? A free detention, with ME! See me after SCHOOL!
Strontium: OH COME ON!
-------------------------------------------------
Neon Light Signs
Neodymium saw the huge banner in the streets. Neodymium was IMPRESSED.Neodymium: Wow. Neon started his own business? Of neon light signs? I'm impressed. Shocked, even. But you know what? I have a better idea. Watch and learn, Praseodymium!
A few days later...
Neodymium Light Signs
Neodymium: Now everyone will be buying from ME instead of Neon! He's gonna be so jealous when I sell more than him, and his business shuts down thanks to me...a few days later, neodymium gets a lawsuit from neon.
you copied my business. you just copied the name except you replaced it with "neodymium." and your "neodymium" light signs are bad; they're just light signs stuffed with neodymium! i'm suing you!
Neodymium: Wow. Never knew THAT would happen.
----------------------------------------------------
Today, Barium and Strontium will be fighting over who is better at igniting fireworks; Strontium, or Barium?
Barium: Class is boring. Want to go light some fireworks?
Strontium: Definitely. Where are YOUR fireworks?
Barium: Home. How about you?
Strontium: My backpack!
barium and strontium tip-toe outside of cesium's class, while cesium was giving one of his students a detention. barium goes home to retrieve his fireworks, and then they go to the playground.
Barium: I also created some of these fireworks. You, Strontium?
Strontium: Uh... I didn't.
strontium and barium get into a fireworks war.
----------------------------------------------------
Cesium: So, kids, today we're going to be writing about how great Cesium is of a teacher.
Everyone, especially Rubidium, complains.
Rubidium: There's nothing good about you though!
Cesium: HEY! That's it, Rubidium! YOU GET A FREE DETENTION!
Rubidium: Eh, it was worth the risk.
Dysprosium: Why would I write about you? I'm going.
Dysprosium runs away.
Cesium: Typical of him. He gets a detention afterwards.
a few hours later
Cesium: TIME IS UP! Show your essays to me. If they're incomplete, DETENTION!
Indium: Here's my essay!
cesium is a great great teacher because he gives the bad ones detentions. also his sky blue jacket is really cute and i would like to wear one. he has a good choice of clothing, should i say?
Cesium: Nice job, Indium! No detention today. I wear sky blue because it's my favorite color. Tin is next!
cesium is a good teacher because he is able to endure a class of annoying students like us. if he got an award, it would be "most durable." that's all what i've got to say.
Cesium: Wow. You actually explained my situation. You get a free cookie, Tin.
Everyone Else: NO FAIR!
Cesium: Hey! No complaining or detentions for you all! Next up is Rubidium!
Cesium is a bad teacher because he hates everyone in this class and enjoys giving students detentions. He has a bad music taste and deserves to be dropped into water. Cesium also spends half of his time yelling at his students. He should be fired and replaced by Potassium as a teacher.
cesium tears up rubidium's paper.
Cesium: Rubidium, you just got yourself yet ANOTHER detention.
Rubidium: You've already given me 5 detentions today.
Cesium: Detentions stack up, you know. You've got detentions for the next 5 weeks, you know.
Rubidium: SERIOUSLY!?
Cesium: Next up is Titanium!
i hate cesium
Cesium: No effort? Well good job, Titanium, YOU GOT YOURSELF ANOTHER DETENTION.
Beryllium: Uh, Cesium... did you notice three of your students are missing?
Cesium: I know Dysprosium is... wait... where are barium and strontium?
cesium hears an explosion behind him.
Cesium: Hold on class, I'm going outside.
As soon as Cesium leaves his class, the whole class goes haywire. Cesium goes outside to see that Strontium and Barium were playing with fireworks, and that the playground was destroyed.
Cesium: ...I have no words for this.
The two notice Cesium.
Barium: Oh hi, Cesium!
Cesium: YOU! YOU BLEW UP THE PLAYGROUND! strontium! barium! YOU BOTH ARE EXPELLED!
strontium lies down on the floor, crying.
Cesium: Oh dear Mendeleev...
Cesium comes back, holding Barium and Strontium by their backs.
Cesium: These two troublemakers are expelled. No recess until the parents of Barium & Strontium pay the FINE for destroying a playground.
indium rolls on the floor, crying.
Iridium: Oh, Indium, it's OK! I have to deal with Cesium in school, and Osmium AFTER school!
-----------------------------------------------------
Will Cesium EVER stop giving out detentions!? Will Selenium FINALLY appear? What happens when Gallium teaches school? Will Ytterbium and Yttrium FINALLY stop believing in unicorns? Will Lanthanum go on stage for once? Will Copper use his magic for good? Will Dysprosium STOP running away!?
Find out next time on...
RANDOMNESS!
Saturday, November 10, 2018
the adventures of palladium - 1
not canon. no one except palladium actually lives in hydra.
main characters:
palladium - a hero hailing from the kingdom of hydra. very brave warrior, banishing bad enemies.
chromium - ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! uh, i mean someone who creates shiny metallic items.
ruthenium - very sassy, and precious metal. acts like she's the center of attention.
iridium - student of osmium. very jolly, believes in the rainbow. named after the iris.
osmium - mentor of iridium. acts like a gentleman, and doesn't like iridium that much...
rhodium - likes very shiny objects. acts like a gentleman.
rubidium - very passionate element, leader of the alkali metals.
cesium - element with a very bad temper.
niobium - a very vain girl who thinks that she's superior to everyone. daughter of tantalum.
tantalum - the daddy of niobium. trickster, likes to brag about his skills.
tungsten - a very durable element, who pretends he's a wolf sometimes.
lutetium - the flute player of the elements. likes to look at constellations.
hafnium - older twin sister of zirconium, has an independent personality, and would rather spend time alone.
zirconium - younger twin sister of hafnium. happier than hafnium, and owns cubic zirconium jewelry.
vanadium - very serious element that isn't seen without her wrench. works in the repair industry.
molybdenum - hardworking element, working in the power tool making industry.
nihonium - princess of the kingdom of nihon. very calm and independent.
others:
ytterbium - some weird and strange element, who believes in weird mythical things. brother of yttrium (that explains).
strontium - a guy who likes playing with fireworks.
barium - S-T-R-O-N-T-I-U-M ALL OVER AGAIN!!! except greener.
-----------------------------------------------------------
[hydra & nihon]
once upon a time, there were 2 bordering kingdoms; the kingdom of nihon, and the kingdom of hydra.
the kingdom of nihon was very eastern, while the kingdom of hydra was very medieval.
as you could see, the kingdom of nihon had kings, queens, princes, and princesses. nihonium was one such princess. she was a calm princess, daughter of the king and queen, kichiro and yukiko.
meanwhile, in the kingdom of hydra, there was one particular hero.
his name was...
palladium.
the kingdom of hydra was usually under attack by foreigners, and it was up to palladium to get rid of these evil foreigners. the foreigners never attacked nihon, since they knew the warriors from nihon were very strong, and hydra was the weaker kingdom.
these two kingdoms are very friendly with each other; they exchange culture a lot, and adapted ideas from each other.
however, the kingdom of nihon wouldn't live in peace for that long...
-----------------------------------------------------------
[castle of nihon]
[nihonium was at the castle gate, ready to go outside. nihonium wanted to go outside, to explore the world around her. there were eastern redbud trees outside, that she wanted to relax under.]
yukiko: nihonium, where are you going?
nihonium: outside, mother. i'm going to relax under the eastern redbud trees, and meditate.
yukiko: i wish you a very good journey. i hope you are safe.
[nihonium goes outside, under an eastern redbud tree. however, as she was relaxing, she heard an army advance towards the kingdom. she goes inside]
nihonium: mother, father. i think there are warriors trying to invade our kingdom!
yukiko: nihonium, you're just imagining things. no one would ever invade the kingdom of nihonium.
nihonium: i heard, i saw... what should we do?
kichiro: yukiko, what should we do? i believe her...
[however, the footsteps grew louder. nihonium was growing more scared.]
nihonium: i saw them... they looked like grey warriors, with some strange weapons... they don't look like any kind of weapon i've seen before... don't you hear them, mother?
[however, as yukiko tried to talk, the army forces open the door. it turns out that the army has defeated all the samurais of nihon. the three were shocked. the parents got even more shocked, as the army takes nihonium away. nihonium tried to fight back, but the army was just too strong. there were too many warriors, anyhow.]
kichiro: GIVE US OUR DAUGHTER BACK!
warrior #1: you can only give her back, if you surrender your kingdom to US!
yukiko: who are you? why are you kidnapping her?
warrior #2: we're going to hold her captive, until you surrender your kingdom and all of its goods to us.
kichiro: what... what kingdom are you from?
warrior #1: the kingdom of TITANIUM! now, if you want your daughter back, surrender all your goods and the kingdom to us, so we can annex it.
yukiko: no way! you were the ones that just kidnapped our daughter.
warrior #2: we'll be waiting for our payment. until then, we'll be occupying your kingdom.
yukiko: here, messenger. give this message to the hero of our neighboring kingdom.
[yukiko gives the messenger a letter to deliver to palladium.]
-----------------------------------------------------------
[castle of hydra]
[the messenger, from nihon, knocked on the castle doors. the king opened the door.]
the king: who is this for?
messenger: according to the letter, it's for the hero of your kingdom.
the king: oh, yes. come down here, palladium.
[palladium comes down, in his usual outfit, the "hero" outfit.]
palladium: what is this for?
palladium: it has been a long time since nihon has last been attacked... according to my parents, before i was even born.
[after palladium tells his parents about what happened in nihon, he sets off on another adventure...]
-------------------------------------------------------------
[palladium sheathed his sword, and put on his warrior shoes. he got his shield, and his armor. palladium was ready for action.]
palladium: ready or not, here i come...
[palladium makes a run for it. however, a little girl stopped him.]
little girl: palladium, why are you running like this?
palladium: hello there, iridium. what are you doing outside on a day like this?
iridium: i'm just having fun outside, skipping around in the kingdom, having a jolly time! how about you, palladium?
palladium: i'm trying to fight off a monster...
iridium: which kind of monster is it?
palladium: it's not just any type of monster, it's a group of monsters... the "titanium" group, that is.
iridium: titanium? i've never heard of "titanium" before...
palladium: it's a kingdom. we don't know the location of this particular kingdom just yet.
iridium: can i join your group, please?
palladium: you can join our group.
[palladium gives iridium a sword and shield.]
iridium: make sure to recruit some others, too.
palladium: i will make sure. who else should we recruit? i think we should recruit a-
iridium: oh, that's right, i've got to tell osmium! i will be back, soon.
[iridium goes back to her village house. she tells osmium about what has happened in the kingdom of nihon, and then osmium approves iridium to do on a journey with palladium.]
osmium: just be safe, iridium.
iridium: yes, mister osmium!
[iridium meets up with palladium again.]
palladium: did he say yes?
iridium: yes, he did. anyways, what did you say about recruiting?
palladium: we should recruit this nearby beauty queen. her name is ruthenium. her beauty and sass should be able to distract the titanium warriors.
[palladium goes to ruthenium's house. palladium knocks on the door, and...]
ruthenium: who's here- oh. it's palladium.
as you could see, ruthenium didn't like palladium that much... or maybe, not at all.
palladium: there's an emergency; the princess of nihon has been kidnapped, by the kingdom of titanium.
[ruthenium was shocked.]
ruthenium: wait, are you really telling the truth? or are you just making up a funny lie? the kingdom of nihon is peaceful; most of the attacks are to our kingdom.
iridium: palladium isn't lying. palladium even has a letter...
[ruthenium reads the letter.]
ruthenium: i... i believe you...
iridium: you can be a warrior.
ruthenium: that's going to ruin my good looks though!
palladium: this is an army. your beauty is unlimited.
ruthenium: what does that... imply?
palladium: your good looks should distract the titanium warriors. you don't need a sword and shield for this.
ruthenium: i don't want to join your army, palladium. i'm good enough at home.
palladium: fine, then!
ruthenium: fine!
[palladium and iridium leave ruthenium's house. they were about to go, when ruthenium came running to them]
ruthenium: i've thought about it. i AM coming with you! i don't want to miss out on this journey; even if it ruins my good looks! especially with iridium in your group... can i please join?
palladium: of course, my beautiful lady.
ruthenium: whatever, palladium.
-------------------------------------------------------------
[there was a father and his daughter. tantalum and niobium, were their names to be exact. they were regular villagers, but they had one special thing about them; they liked to brag a lot. niobium bragged about her superiority to all the other females, while tantalum was too much of a trickster, and liked to brag about his skills, which he didn't have too much of. niobium and tantalum were reading the news.]
niobium: "Princess of Nihon kidnapped by "Titanium Warriors." i don't believe a single word of that news story.
tantalum: way before you were born, nihon was attacked, but the nihonese warriors got rid of the invaders. nihon wasn't attacked until now...
niobium: and i've never heard of the "titanium" warriors, from the kingdom of titanium.
[suddenly, niobium and tantalum hear a knock on the door]
palladium: niobium? are you here?
[niobium forcefully opens the door, looking angry.]
niobium: palladium!? what do you want this time? i was just reading the news with my daddy before you came in!
palladium: sorry, niobium. do you want to stop the evil team?
niobium: we can do it ourselves. tantalum is skilled enough to kill the titanium warriors! we don't need your help, palladium.
palladium: whatever, you weren't fit for battle anyways. i was asking for tantalum's help.
[niobium was steaming. tantalum tried to calm her down, as palladium and his group left.]
-------------------------------------------------------------
[palladium's group continued walking.]
ruthenium: i think i know one more potential recruit for your team, palladium.
palladium: who is it going to be?
ruthenium: his name is rhodium. he is a gentleman of high standards. do you have a shiny sword for him?
palladium: why shiny?
ruthenium: rhodium loves shiny objects.
palladium: i do have one for him.
[palladium sheathes a shiny sword]
palladium: i have my sword of honors.
[palladium sheathes his sword of honors]
palladium: this is my sword of honors, which has killed many villains so far. i'll never let go of it.
[palladium bows down.]
iridium: that's a pretty interesting backstory for a good 'ol sword.
ruthenium: well, palladium is the hero of our kingdom, after all.
[palladium goes to rhodium's house, and knocks on his door.]
rhodium: oh my, isn't it palladium? i haven't seen you in a long time.
palladium: haven't seen you in a long time, either.
[rhodium and palladium shake hands.]
palladium: would you like to join us on an adventure? we'll have to save a princess, and fight off many "titanium" warriors...
rhodium: no, thanks. i might be hurt, or even killed. i don't want to be in the line of fire, sorry palladium.
ruthenium: rhodium, come on! you can be the handsome man of this group.
rhodium: i don't want my looks to be ruined. sorry, ruthenium.
[palladium's group leaves.]
palladium: well, looks like that was a failure, recruiting rhodium. we'll just be a group of three warriors, ready to take on these villains.
[palladium's group gets ready, and leaves the village, and runs onto the battlefield...]
to be continued.
main characters:
palladium - a hero hailing from the kingdom of hydra. very brave warrior, banishing bad enemies.
chromium - ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! uh, i mean someone who creates shiny metallic items.
ruthenium - very sassy, and precious metal. acts like she's the center of attention.
iridium - student of osmium. very jolly, believes in the rainbow. named after the iris.
osmium - mentor of iridium. acts like a gentleman, and doesn't like iridium that much...
rhodium - likes very shiny objects. acts like a gentleman.
rubidium - very passionate element, leader of the alkali metals.
cesium - element with a very bad temper.
niobium - a very vain girl who thinks that she's superior to everyone. daughter of tantalum.
tantalum - the daddy of niobium. trickster, likes to brag about his skills.
tungsten - a very durable element, who pretends he's a wolf sometimes.
lutetium - the flute player of the elements. likes to look at constellations.
hafnium - older twin sister of zirconium, has an independent personality, and would rather spend time alone.
zirconium - younger twin sister of hafnium. happier than hafnium, and owns cubic zirconium jewelry.
vanadium - very serious element that isn't seen without her wrench. works in the repair industry.
molybdenum - hardworking element, working in the power tool making industry.
nihonium - princess of the kingdom of nihon. very calm and independent.
others:
ytterbium - some weird and strange element, who believes in weird mythical things. brother of yttrium (that explains).
strontium - a guy who likes playing with fireworks.
barium - S-T-R-O-N-T-I-U-M ALL OVER AGAIN!!! except greener.
-----------------------------------------------------------
[hydra & nihon]
once upon a time, there were 2 bordering kingdoms; the kingdom of nihon, and the kingdom of hydra.
the kingdom of nihon was very eastern, while the kingdom of hydra was very medieval.
as you could see, the kingdom of nihon had kings, queens, princes, and princesses. nihonium was one such princess. she was a calm princess, daughter of the king and queen, kichiro and yukiko.
meanwhile, in the kingdom of hydra, there was one particular hero.
his name was...
palladium.
the kingdom of hydra was usually under attack by foreigners, and it was up to palladium to get rid of these evil foreigners. the foreigners never attacked nihon, since they knew the warriors from nihon were very strong, and hydra was the weaker kingdom.
these two kingdoms are very friendly with each other; they exchange culture a lot, and adapted ideas from each other.
however, the kingdom of nihon wouldn't live in peace for that long...
-----------------------------------------------------------
[castle of nihon]
[nihonium was at the castle gate, ready to go outside. nihonium wanted to go outside, to explore the world around her. there were eastern redbud trees outside, that she wanted to relax under.]
yukiko: nihonium, where are you going?
nihonium: outside, mother. i'm going to relax under the eastern redbud trees, and meditate.
yukiko: i wish you a very good journey. i hope you are safe.
[nihonium goes outside, under an eastern redbud tree. however, as she was relaxing, she heard an army advance towards the kingdom. she goes inside]
nihonium: mother, father. i think there are warriors trying to invade our kingdom!
yukiko: nihonium, you're just imagining things. no one would ever invade the kingdom of nihonium.
nihonium: i heard, i saw... what should we do?
kichiro: yukiko, what should we do? i believe her...
[however, the footsteps grew louder. nihonium was growing more scared.]
nihonium: i saw them... they looked like grey warriors, with some strange weapons... they don't look like any kind of weapon i've seen before... don't you hear them, mother?
[however, as yukiko tried to talk, the army forces open the door. it turns out that the army has defeated all the samurais of nihon. the three were shocked. the parents got even more shocked, as the army takes nihonium away. nihonium tried to fight back, but the army was just too strong. there were too many warriors, anyhow.]
kichiro: GIVE US OUR DAUGHTER BACK!
warrior #1: you can only give her back, if you surrender your kingdom to US!
yukiko: who are you? why are you kidnapping her?
warrior #2: we're going to hold her captive, until you surrender your kingdom and all of its goods to us.
kichiro: what... what kingdom are you from?
warrior #1: the kingdom of TITANIUM! now, if you want your daughter back, surrender all your goods and the kingdom to us, so we can annex it.
yukiko: no way! you were the ones that just kidnapped our daughter.
warrior #2: we'll be waiting for our payment. until then, we'll be occupying your kingdom.
yukiko: here, messenger. give this message to the hero of our neighboring kingdom.
[yukiko gives the messenger a letter to deliver to palladium.]
-----------------------------------------------------------
[castle of hydra]
[the messenger, from nihon, knocked on the castle doors. the king opened the door.]
the king: who is this for?
messenger: according to the letter, it's for the hero of your kingdom.
the king: oh, yes. come down here, palladium.
[palladium comes down, in his usual outfit, the "hero" outfit.]
palladium: what is this for?
Dearest Hero of Hydra,
Warriors from the kingdom of Titanium have kidnapped our fair princess, Nihonium. They will not give her back, until we give their kingdom to them. Oh, can you please help us?
[palladium was in shock]palladium: it has been a long time since nihon has last been attacked... according to my parents, before i was even born.
[after palladium tells his parents about what happened in nihon, he sets off on another adventure...]
-------------------------------------------------------------
[palladium sheathed his sword, and put on his warrior shoes. he got his shield, and his armor. palladium was ready for action.]
palladium: ready or not, here i come...
[palladium makes a run for it. however, a little girl stopped him.]
little girl: palladium, why are you running like this?
palladium: hello there, iridium. what are you doing outside on a day like this?
iridium: i'm just having fun outside, skipping around in the kingdom, having a jolly time! how about you, palladium?
palladium: i'm trying to fight off a monster...
iridium: which kind of monster is it?
palladium: it's not just any type of monster, it's a group of monsters... the "titanium" group, that is.
iridium: titanium? i've never heard of "titanium" before...
palladium: it's a kingdom. we don't know the location of this particular kingdom just yet.
iridium: can i join your group, please?
palladium: you can join our group.
[palladium gives iridium a sword and shield.]
iridium: make sure to recruit some others, too.
palladium: i will make sure. who else should we recruit? i think we should recruit a-
iridium: oh, that's right, i've got to tell osmium! i will be back, soon.
[iridium goes back to her village house. she tells osmium about what has happened in the kingdom of nihon, and then osmium approves iridium to do on a journey with palladium.]
osmium: just be safe, iridium.
iridium: yes, mister osmium!
[iridium meets up with palladium again.]
palladium: did he say yes?
iridium: yes, he did. anyways, what did you say about recruiting?
palladium: we should recruit this nearby beauty queen. her name is ruthenium. her beauty and sass should be able to distract the titanium warriors.
[palladium goes to ruthenium's house. palladium knocks on the door, and...]
ruthenium: who's here- oh. it's palladium.
as you could see, ruthenium didn't like palladium that much... or maybe, not at all.
palladium: there's an emergency; the princess of nihon has been kidnapped, by the kingdom of titanium.
[ruthenium was shocked.]
ruthenium: wait, are you really telling the truth? or are you just making up a funny lie? the kingdom of nihon is peaceful; most of the attacks are to our kingdom.
iridium: palladium isn't lying. palladium even has a letter...
[ruthenium reads the letter.]
ruthenium: i... i believe you...
iridium: you can be a warrior.
ruthenium: that's going to ruin my good looks though!
palladium: this is an army. your beauty is unlimited.
ruthenium: what does that... imply?
palladium: your good looks should distract the titanium warriors. you don't need a sword and shield for this.
ruthenium: i don't want to join your army, palladium. i'm good enough at home.
palladium: fine, then!
ruthenium: fine!
[palladium and iridium leave ruthenium's house. they were about to go, when ruthenium came running to them]
ruthenium: i've thought about it. i AM coming with you! i don't want to miss out on this journey; even if it ruins my good looks! especially with iridium in your group... can i please join?
palladium: of course, my beautiful lady.
ruthenium: whatever, palladium.
-------------------------------------------------------------
[there was a father and his daughter. tantalum and niobium, were their names to be exact. they were regular villagers, but they had one special thing about them; they liked to brag a lot. niobium bragged about her superiority to all the other females, while tantalum was too much of a trickster, and liked to brag about his skills, which he didn't have too much of. niobium and tantalum were reading the news.]
niobium: "Princess of Nihon kidnapped by "Titanium Warriors." i don't believe a single word of that news story.
tantalum: way before you were born, nihon was attacked, but the nihonese warriors got rid of the invaders. nihon wasn't attacked until now...
niobium: and i've never heard of the "titanium" warriors, from the kingdom of titanium.
[suddenly, niobium and tantalum hear a knock on the door]
palladium: niobium? are you here?
[niobium forcefully opens the door, looking angry.]
niobium: palladium!? what do you want this time? i was just reading the news with my daddy before you came in!
palladium: sorry, niobium. do you want to stop the evil team?
niobium: we can do it ourselves. tantalum is skilled enough to kill the titanium warriors! we don't need your help, palladium.
palladium: whatever, you weren't fit for battle anyways. i was asking for tantalum's help.
[niobium was steaming. tantalum tried to calm her down, as palladium and his group left.]
-------------------------------------------------------------
[palladium's group continued walking.]
ruthenium: i think i know one more potential recruit for your team, palladium.
palladium: who is it going to be?
ruthenium: his name is rhodium. he is a gentleman of high standards. do you have a shiny sword for him?
palladium: why shiny?
ruthenium: rhodium loves shiny objects.
palladium: i do have one for him.
[palladium sheathes a shiny sword]
palladium: i have my sword of honors.
[palladium sheathes his sword of honors]
palladium: this is my sword of honors, which has killed many villains so far. i'll never let go of it.
[palladium bows down.]
iridium: that's a pretty interesting backstory for a good 'ol sword.
ruthenium: well, palladium is the hero of our kingdom, after all.
[palladium goes to rhodium's house, and knocks on his door.]
rhodium: oh my, isn't it palladium? i haven't seen you in a long time.
palladium: haven't seen you in a long time, either.
[rhodium and palladium shake hands.]
palladium: would you like to join us on an adventure? we'll have to save a princess, and fight off many "titanium" warriors...
rhodium: no, thanks. i might be hurt, or even killed. i don't want to be in the line of fire, sorry palladium.
ruthenium: rhodium, come on! you can be the handsome man of this group.
rhodium: i don't want my looks to be ruined. sorry, ruthenium.
[palladium's group leaves.]
palladium: well, looks like that was a failure, recruiting rhodium. we'll just be a group of three warriors, ready to take on these villains.
[palladium's group gets ready, and leaves the village, and runs onto the battlefield...]
to be continued.
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
RANDOMNESS 1
4th story!
Note that none of this is canon.
------------------------------
Cesium: Today, kids, we're going to be writing a haiku!
And everyone thought of a haiku to write...
Cesium: OK, let's read them out LOUD!
Rubidium: OH COME ON!
Cesium: I HEARD THAT!
Terbium: I'll go first!
gadolinium
the most useless element
who even uses it?
Gadolinium: HEY!
cesium: now, before you two get into a fight, that poem SUCKED! detention for you, terbium.
Rubidium: Now, I'll read MY poem!
Note to Cesium:
We all hate our teacher
With much passion.
cesium: rubidium, you just landed yourself a 5 hour detention.
Rubidium: Seriously!?
Lanthanum: It's my turn!
Cesium: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, LANTHANUM!
Lanthanum: ...
Xenon turns in a poem to Cesium.
Cesium: Well, Xenon is usually silent, after all... let's read it.
01001101 01111001 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01011000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01101110
01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01010101 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110101 01110011
01001110 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100
cesium: detention for writing in gibberish. dysprosium?
Dysprosium runs away.
Cesium: When he gets back, HE'S GOING TO GET A DETENTION. Holmium?
Holmium: Here's my poem!
Holmium, my name
I come from Stockholm, Sweden
Holy goodness, I hate Cesium.
Cesium: WHAT!? You didn't even follow the rules of haiku making! DETENTION FOR YOU!
---------------------------------
Neodymium: What do you want to do?
Praseodymium: Go on an ADVENTURE!
Neodymium: NO! DON'T!
praseodymium ignores neodymium and joyfully skips outside, but a car runs her over.
neodymium: praseodymium? you OK?
----------------------------------
Lutetium: Today, I'll be playing the flute for you guys.
lutetium plays the flute. everyone falls asleep. oh, lutetium...
----------------------------------
Cesium: Anyways, kids, today, we're going to do show-and-tell. What did you bring? Go ahead, Gadolinium!
Gadolinium: I have a CD. It has a gadolinium alloy in it!
Terbium: USELESS! Who uses CD's anymore!?
Gadolinium stares at Terbium.
Gadolinium: It has music on it. Wanna hear?
Cesium: Sure!
Gadolinium puts it in Cesium's music player. "Friday" plays.
Cesium: AHH! MY EARS! Detention for YOU, gadolinium.
Cesium throws the CD back at Gadolinium.
Cesium: Next up is Holmium!
Holmium: Holy holmium! I was supposed to bring something!? Sorry, Cesium!
cesium: detention for you, holmium. how about you, lutetium?
Lutetium: I brought a piccolo. It's a tiny flute!
Lutetium plays a song on it.
Cesium: Nice. You don't get a detention, for now. Next up is Iridium!
Iridium: I brought the RAINBOW!
Cesium: For bringing a rainbow, DETENTION! Rubidium is next!!
Rubidium: I brought a piece of francium!
Cesium: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE!? DETENTION FOR YOU!
----------------------------------
Rubidium: Are you in detention?
Gadolinium: Yeah, because I brought a CD with my favorite music track on it.
Terbium: To be honest, it SUCKED.
Gadolinium stares at Terbium.
Gadolinium: How about you?
Rubidium: For bringing a piece of francium. I was going to drop it into water!
----------------------------------
Neon: Light signs! Light signs here! Want to buy a neon light sign!?
Neodymium: I'll take 500.
neon: neodymium, you're banned from this store.
Neodymium: OH COME ON!
----------------------------------
Cesium: Today, you'll be writing book reports!
Everyone groans and complains, except for Titanium.
Titanium: I'll do it GLADLY!
a few hours later
Titanium: Here's my book report!
Cesium: OK!
cesium: today, we'll be learning about math!
titanium spits out a spitball at cesium. rubidium laughs.
cesium: rubidium, titanium? i've got a gift for you.
rubidium: finally, a gift!
cesium: detention for you two!
titanium and rubidium: oh come on!
after a school day...
cesium: i hate my job. i hate rubidium. i hate life. i wish rubidium was never born!
cesium: you know what? i'm going to KILL rubidium's daddy and therefore he will never be born!
suddenly, cesium sees the time machine in his office.
cesium: oh, what's this? a time machine?
cesium goes into the time machine, and goes to the past.
cesium sees rubidium's parents eating out at a restaurant. cesium gets a rifle out of nowhere, and...
cesium: time to kill rubidium's daddy.
cesium shoots rubidium's daddy in the forehead. his wife was distressed and was shocked. cesium goes up to his wife...
cesium: oh no, it looks like your husband is dead...
wife: handsome... a sniper killed my wonderful husband! and i'm so sad!
cesium: don't worry, hot-stuff. want to sleep together?
and so, rubidium's mommy slept together with cesium. cesium goes back to the first day of his job, only to find...
cesium: what!? who could be rubidium's daddy then... wait a second, i slept with his mommy... does that mean I'M HIS DADDY!?
cesium: i'm rubidium's daddy! what was i THINKING!?
and then, cesium commits a suicide. the end!
Cesium tears up Titanium's book report.
Cesium: Detention for you, Titanium.
--------------------------------
Lanthanum and Europium were watching a movie, "Samarium the Samurai."
There are roads that a samurai must travel.
Samarium was fighting off a bunch of scary black creatures, chopping them all up with his samurai sword.
--------------------------------
Cesium: GET BACK HERE! YOU HAVE A DETENTION TO ATTEND!
Dysprosium was STILL on the run.
Dysprosium: Pfft! As if you'll ever catch me!
cesium gets a crane, and it picks up dysprosium.
Dysprosium: Fine, you got me! But I DON'T WANNA GO TO DETENTION!
Dysprosium starts crying. Cesium sighs; it was going to be a very long detention...
---------------------------------
Cesium: Time to start operation g.a.d.o.l.i.n.i.u.m.! GET A DETENTION! ON... uh, this is a bad acronym.
---------------------------------
Manganese was waiting for his flight to Japan, so he could see all the Japanese merchandise there. While he was waiting...
Manganese: 羽ばたこうよ, 大空へ, さあここから! 明日がある, 夢が咲く, Our generation!
Manganese was singing "Dreams of our Generation" from Minna no Rhythm Tengoku, his favorite game. He continued singing Japanese songs, when...
Random Passerby: WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND ZIP YOUR [censored] LIPS!
Note that none of this is canon.
------------------------------
Cesium: Today, kids, we're going to be writing a haiku!
And everyone thought of a haiku to write...
Cesium: OK, let's read them out LOUD!
Rubidium: OH COME ON!
Cesium: I HEARD THAT!
Terbium: I'll go first!
gadolinium
the most useless element
who even uses it?
Gadolinium: HEY!
cesium: now, before you two get into a fight, that poem SUCKED! detention for you, terbium.
Rubidium: Now, I'll read MY poem!
Note to Cesium:
We all hate our teacher
With much passion.
cesium: rubidium, you just landed yourself a 5 hour detention.
Rubidium: Seriously!?
Lanthanum: It's my turn!
Cesium: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, LANTHANUM!
Lanthanum: ...
Xenon turns in a poem to Cesium.
Cesium: Well, Xenon is usually silent, after all... let's read it.
01001101 01111001 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01011000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01101110
01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01010101 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110101 01110011
01001110 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100
cesium: detention for writing in gibberish. dysprosium?
Dysprosium runs away.
Cesium: When he gets back, HE'S GOING TO GET A DETENTION. Holmium?
Holmium: Here's my poem!
Holmium, my name
I come from Stockholm, Sweden
Holy goodness, I hate Cesium.
Cesium: WHAT!? You didn't even follow the rules of haiku making! DETENTION FOR YOU!
---------------------------------
Neodymium: What do you want to do?
Praseodymium: Go on an ADVENTURE!
Neodymium: NO! DON'T!
praseodymium ignores neodymium and joyfully skips outside, but a car runs her over.
neodymium: praseodymium? you OK?
----------------------------------
Lutetium: Today, I'll be playing the flute for you guys.
lutetium plays the flute. everyone falls asleep. oh, lutetium...
----------------------------------
Cesium: Anyways, kids, today, we're going to do show-and-tell. What did you bring? Go ahead, Gadolinium!
Gadolinium: I have a CD. It has a gadolinium alloy in it!
Terbium: USELESS! Who uses CD's anymore!?
Gadolinium stares at Terbium.
Gadolinium: It has music on it. Wanna hear?
Cesium: Sure!
Gadolinium puts it in Cesium's music player. "Friday" plays.
Cesium: AHH! MY EARS! Detention for YOU, gadolinium.
Cesium throws the CD back at Gadolinium.
Cesium: Next up is Holmium!
Holmium: Holy holmium! I was supposed to bring something!? Sorry, Cesium!
cesium: detention for you, holmium. how about you, lutetium?
Lutetium: I brought a piccolo. It's a tiny flute!
Lutetium plays a song on it.
Cesium: Nice. You don't get a detention, for now. Next up is Iridium!
Iridium: I brought the RAINBOW!
Cesium: For bringing a rainbow, DETENTION! Rubidium is next!!
Rubidium: I brought a piece of francium!
Cesium: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE!? DETENTION FOR YOU!
----------------------------------
Rubidium: Are you in detention?
Gadolinium: Yeah, because I brought a CD with my favorite music track on it.
Terbium: To be honest, it SUCKED.
Gadolinium stares at Terbium.
Gadolinium: How about you?
Rubidium: For bringing a piece of francium. I was going to drop it into water!
----------------------------------
Neon: Light signs! Light signs here! Want to buy a neon light sign!?
Neodymium: I'll take 500.
neon: neodymium, you're banned from this store.
Neodymium: OH COME ON!
----------------------------------
Cesium: Today, you'll be writing book reports!
Everyone groans and complains, except for Titanium.
Titanium: I'll do it GLADLY!
a few hours later
Titanium: Here's my book report!
Cesium: OK!
cesium: today, we'll be learning about math!
titanium spits out a spitball at cesium. rubidium laughs.
cesium: rubidium, titanium? i've got a gift for you.
rubidium: finally, a gift!
cesium: detention for you two!
titanium and rubidium: oh come on!
after a school day...
cesium: i hate my job. i hate rubidium. i hate life. i wish rubidium was never born!
cesium: you know what? i'm going to KILL rubidium's daddy and therefore he will never be born!
suddenly, cesium sees the time machine in his office.
cesium: oh, what's this? a time machine?
cesium goes into the time machine, and goes to the past.
cesium sees rubidium's parents eating out at a restaurant. cesium gets a rifle out of nowhere, and...
cesium: time to kill rubidium's daddy.
cesium shoots rubidium's daddy in the forehead. his wife was distressed and was shocked. cesium goes up to his wife...
cesium: oh no, it looks like your husband is dead...
wife: handsome... a sniper killed my wonderful husband! and i'm so sad!
cesium: don't worry, hot-stuff. want to sleep together?
and so, rubidium's mommy slept together with cesium. cesium goes back to the first day of his job, only to find...
cesium: what!? who could be rubidium's daddy then... wait a second, i slept with his mommy... does that mean I'M HIS DADDY!?
cesium: i'm rubidium's daddy! what was i THINKING!?
and then, cesium commits a suicide. the end!
Cesium tears up Titanium's book report.
Cesium: Detention for you, Titanium.
--------------------------------
Lanthanum and Europium were watching a movie, "Samarium the Samurai."
There are roads that a samurai must travel.
Samarium was fighting off a bunch of scary black creatures, chopping them all up with his samurai sword.
--------------------------------
Cesium: GET BACK HERE! YOU HAVE A DETENTION TO ATTEND!
Dysprosium was STILL on the run.
Dysprosium: Pfft! As if you'll ever catch me!
cesium gets a crane, and it picks up dysprosium.
Dysprosium: Fine, you got me! But I DON'T WANNA GO TO DETENTION!
Dysprosium starts crying. Cesium sighs; it was going to be a very long detention...
---------------------------------
Cesium: Time to start operation g.a.d.o.l.i.n.i.u.m.! GET A DETENTION! ON... uh, this is a bad acronym.
---------------------------------
Manganese was waiting for his flight to Japan, so he could see all the Japanese merchandise there. While he was waiting...
Manganese: 羽ばたこうよ, 大空へ, さあここから! 明日がある, 夢が咲く, Our generation!
Manganese was singing "Dreams of our Generation" from Minna no Rhythm Tengoku, his favorite game. He continued singing Japanese songs, when...
Random Passerby: WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND ZIP YOUR [censored] LIPS!
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