RANDOMNESS 1

4th story!
Note that none of this is canon.
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Cesium: Today, kids, we're going to be writing a haiku!
And everyone thought of a haiku to write...
Cesium: OK, let's read them out LOUD!
Rubidium: OH COME ON!
Cesium: I HEARD THAT!
Terbium: I'll go first!
gadolinium
the most useless element
who even uses it?
Gadolinium: HEY!
cesium: now, before you two get into a fight, that poem SUCKED! detention for you, terbium.
Rubidium: Now, I'll read MY poem!
Note to Cesium:
We all hate our teacher
With much passion.
cesium: rubidium, you just landed yourself a 5 hour detention.
Rubidium: Seriously!?
Lanthanum: It's my turn!
Cesium: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, LANTHANUM!
Lanthanum: ...
Xenon turns in a poem to Cesium.
Cesium: Well, Xenon is usually silent, after all... let's read it.
01001101 01111001 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01011000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01101110 
01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01010101 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110101 01110011
01001110 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 
cesium: detention for writing in gibberish. dysprosium?
Dysprosium runs away.
Cesium: When he gets back, HE'S GOING TO GET A DETENTION. Holmium?
Holmium: Here's my poem!
Holmium, my name
I come from Stockholm, Sweden
Holy goodness, I hate Cesium.
Cesium: WHAT!? You didn't even follow the rules of haiku making! DETENTION FOR YOU!
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Neodymium: What do you want to do?
Praseodymium: Go on an ADVENTURE!
Neodymium: NO! DON'T!
praseodymium ignores neodymium and joyfully skips outside, but a car runs her over.
neodymium: praseodymium? you OK?
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Lutetium: Today, I'll be playing the flute for you guys.
lutetium plays the flute. everyone falls asleep. oh, lutetium...
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Cesium: Anyways, kids, today, we're going to do show-and-tell. What did you bring? Go ahead, Gadolinium!
Gadolinium: I have a CD. It has a gadolinium alloy in it!
Terbium: USELESS! Who uses CD's anymore!?
Gadolinium stares at Terbium.
Gadolinium: It has music on it. Wanna hear?
Cesium: Sure!
Gadolinium puts it in Cesium's music player. "Friday" plays.
Cesium: AHH! MY EARS! Detention for YOU, gadolinium.
Cesium throws the CD back at Gadolinium.
Cesium: Next up is Holmium!
Holmium: Holy holmium! I was supposed to bring something!? Sorry, Cesium!
cesium: detention for you, holmium. how about you, lutetium?
Lutetium: I brought a piccolo. It's a tiny flute!
Lutetium plays a song on it.
Cesium: Nice. You don't get a detention, for now. Next up is Iridium!
Iridium: I brought the RAINBOW!
Cesium: For bringing a rainbow, DETENTION! Rubidium is next!!
Rubidium: I brought a piece of francium!
Cesium: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE!? DETENTION FOR YOU!
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Rubidium: Are you in detention?
Gadolinium: Yeah, because I brought a CD with my favorite music track on it.
Terbium: To be honest, it SUCKED.
Gadolinium stares at Terbium.
Gadolinium: How about you?
Rubidium: For bringing a piece of francium. I was going to drop it into water!
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Neon: Light signs! Light signs here! Want to buy a neon light sign!?
Neodymium: I'll take 500.
neon: neodymium, you're banned from this store.
Neodymium: OH COME ON!
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Cesium: Today, you'll be writing book reports!
Everyone groans and complains, except for Titanium.
Titanium: I'll do it GLADLY!
a few hours later
Titanium: Here's my book report!
Cesium: OK!
cesium: today, we'll be learning about math!
titanium spits out a spitball at cesium. rubidium laughs.
cesium: rubidium, titanium? i've got a gift for you.
rubidium: finally, a gift!
cesium: detention for you two!
titanium and rubidium: oh come on!
after a school day...
cesium: i hate my job. i hate rubidium. i hate life. i wish rubidium was never born!
cesium: you know what? i'm going to KILL rubidium's daddy and therefore he will never be born!
suddenly, cesium sees the time machine in his office.
cesium: oh, what's this? a time machine?
cesium goes into the time machine, and goes to the past.
cesium sees rubidium's parents eating out at a restaurant. cesium gets a rifle out of nowhere, and...
cesium: time to kill rubidium's daddy.
cesium shoots rubidium's daddy in the forehead. his wife was distressed and was shocked. cesium goes up to his wife...
cesium: oh no, it looks like your husband is dead...
wife: handsome... a sniper killed my wonderful husband! and i'm so sad!
cesium: don't worry, hot-stuff. want to sleep together?
and so, rubidium's mommy slept together with cesium. cesium goes back to the first day of his job, only to find...
cesium: what!? who could be rubidium's daddy then... wait a second, i slept with his mommy... does that mean I'M HIS DADDY!?
cesium: i'm rubidium's daddy! what was i THINKING!?
and then, cesium commits a suicide. the end!
Cesium tears up Titanium's book report.
Cesium: Detention for you, Titanium.
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Lanthanum and Europium were watching a movie, "Samarium the Samurai."
There are roads that a samurai must travel.
Samarium was fighting off a bunch of scary black creatures, chopping them all up with his samurai sword.
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Cesium: GET BACK HERE! YOU HAVE A DETENTION TO ATTEND!
Dysprosium was STILL on the run.
Dysprosium: Pfft! As if you'll ever catch me!
cesium gets a crane, and it picks up dysprosium.
Dysprosium: Fine, you got me! But I DON'T WANNA GO TO DETENTION!
Dysprosium starts crying. Cesium sighs; it was going to be a very long detention...
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Cesium: Time to start operation g.a.d.o.l.i.n.i.u.m.! GET A DETENTION! ON... uh, this is a bad acronym.
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Manganese was waiting for his flight to Japan, so he could see all the Japanese merchandise there. While he was waiting...
Manganese: 羽ばたこうよ, 大空へ, さあここから! 明日がある, 夢が咲く, Our generation!
Manganese was singing "Dreams of our Generation" from Minna no Rhythm Tengoku, his favorite game. He continued singing Japanese songs, when...
Random Passerby: WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND ZIP YOUR [censored] LIPS!