hafnium and zirconium

Yeah, what the title reads. A story all about Hafnium and Zirconium.
--------------------------------------------
It was a nice day. Zirconium was in the store, to get another cubic zirconia ring.
Zirconium: I'd like my ring polished and shiny, please.
Manager: Okay.
The manager does that. Zirconium fits it on her finger. She comes home, to their apartment.
Hafnium: Hmm... you got another zircon ring... interesting.
Zirconium: They look just like diamonds, except they're not made out of carbon!
Hafnium: How much did that one cost you?
Zirconium: $20.
Hafnium: That's a week's allowance...
Zirconium: I'm gonna pretend it's a diamond and everyone will envy us!
--------------------------------------------
At the Transition Metal meeting...
Hafnium: Whatever you do, do NOT-
Zirconium: HEY! Platinum! Do you like my diamond rings?
Platinum: Hold on a second. Where'd you get that much money? I thought you were a poor girl.
Everyone laughs at Zirconium & Hafnium.
Zirconium: WHAT!? Hafnium is the poor one there, not me! I'm the one who has diamond rings!
--------------------------------------------
Hafnium: Not only did you straight up lie in front of everyone's face, but you embarrassed both of us. You waste all your money on zircons, which you trick others into thinking they're diamonds.
Zirconium: Sorry... I just wanted to be known as the richest element!
Hafnium: No, I think we're going to be the poorest elements.
Zirconium: ...
As you could see, Hafnium & Zirconium weren't very... rich, and Zirconium spent all her money on cubic zirconia.
--------------------------------------------
Zirconium: Anyways, what do you want to do now?
hafnium ignores zirconium.
Zirconium: Aw...
--------------------------------------------
Zirconium: Anyways, I think it's time to go... SHOPPING!
Hafnium: Zirconium, we don't have enough money. We don't even have enough money to buy much food! Our grandma gives us $20 a week, and that's not enough. We need more food than that...
zirconium ignores hafnium and she goes to the mall. however, zirconium comes home angry.
Zirconium: Everything was too EXPENSIVE!
Hafnium: No, it's because you didn't have enough money! The mall has expensive things...
-------------------------------------------
Zirconium: There's only one way to get richer. Time to sell things on eBay!
Zirconium finds a moldy pizza slice on the floor while walking home from the park. She lists it on eBay.
And guess what? It got lots of bids.
Hafnium: What a shocker.
-------------------------------------------
Francium: Time to take some zinc supplements!
Radium: Ooh, I cannot wait!
Francium pops the zinc in his mouth. Instantly, he goes into rainbows.
-------------------------------------------
Well, it's the end!
Will Selenium ever star in his own special? Will Hafnium ever get out of her situation? Find out in the Friday Special!