RANDOMNESS 2

5th story!
Not canon.
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Cesium: Today, we're going to be writing essays!
Everyone except Titanium complains.
a few hours later
Cesium: Now, READ YOUR ESSAYS OUT LOUD TO THE CLASS! First up is Rubidium!
Rubidium: OK!
The Element Cesium
Cesium is an element. Cesium is number 55 on the periodic table with symbol Cs. It's the second most reactive alkali, next to Francium. Someone once dropped a piece of cesium in water and the whole bathtub exploded.
Cesium: Hey! It's about me this time! Good job, Rubidium.
cesium actually... smiles?
Cesium: You don't get a detention today. NEXT!
gadolinium
gadolinium is a useless lanthanide nobody uses these days. actually, they were used in an MRI causing a lawsuit so i don't think gadolinium will have any uses in the near future.
Cesium: Not ANOTHER "gadolinium" essay... but whatever, you get off without having another dete-
terbium spits a spitball at cesium.
Terbium: YAY! I DON'T GET DETENTION THIS TIME!
cesium: for that spitball, you just got yourself a free detention. i was about to let you off without one until you spat that spitball at me. next?
Titanium comes up. He shows his essay.
you shoot me down
but i won't fall
i am titanium
Cesium: Really? Detention for you.
Titanium: OH COME ON!
Cesium notices Argon sleeping.
Cesium: Wakey-wakey, lazybones. Detention for sleeping and not writing your essay.
Argon's snoring got even louder.
Cesium: ...Next is Lutetium.
Lutetium was busy playing her flute, instead of writing an essay.
Cesium: ...seriously? DETENTION FOR YOU. Next up is Holmium!
Stockholm, Sweden
Sweden is a country with about ten million people living in it. It has a blue and gold Nordic Cross as the flag. It's one of the Scandinavian countries.
Stockholm has 2.3 million people living in the metro area. It's the capital of Sweden. I come from Stockholm Sweden, and I was named after that city!
Holmium: Please don't give me a detention...
Cesium: Your essay was somewhat decent. 85.
Holmium: Holy holmium! YES!
Holmium does a happy dance, but crashes into Strontium.
Strontium: Hey! Watch it! Want fireworks in your eyes!?
Holmium: Holy holmium! NO!
strontium sticks fireworks in holmium's eyes anyways.
Cesium: Strontium, nice job.
Strontium: Thanks!
Cesium: Your reward? A free detention, with ME! See me after SCHOOL!
Strontium: OH COME ON!
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Neon Light Signs

Neodymium saw the huge banner in the streets. Neodymium was IMPRESSED.
Neodymium: Wow. Neon started his own business? Of neon light signs? I'm impressed. Shocked, even. But you know what? I have a better idea. Watch and learn, Praseodymium!
A few days later...

Neodymium Light Signs

Neodymium: Now everyone will be buying from ME instead of Neon! He's gonna be so jealous when I sell more than him, and his business shuts down thanks to me...
a few days later, neodymium gets a lawsuit from neon.
you copied my business. you just copied the name except you replaced it with "neodymium." and your "neodymium" light signs are bad; they're just light signs stuffed with neodymium! i'm suing you!
Neodymium: Wow. Never knew THAT would happen.
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Today, Barium and Strontium will be fighting over who is better at igniting fireworks; Strontium, or Barium?
Barium: Class is boring. Want to go light some fireworks?
Strontium: Definitely. Where are YOUR fireworks?
Barium: Home. How about you?
Strontium: My backpack!
barium and strontium tip-toe outside of cesium's class, while cesium was giving one of his students a detention. barium goes home to retrieve his fireworks, and then they go to the playground.
Barium: I also created some of these fireworks. You, Strontium?
Strontium: Uh... I didn't.
strontium and barium get into a fireworks war.
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Cesium: So, kids, today we're going to be writing about how great Cesium is of a teacher.
Everyone, especially Rubidium, complains.
Rubidium: There's nothing good about you though!
Cesium: HEY! That's it, Rubidium! YOU GET A FREE DETENTION!
Rubidium: Eh, it was worth the risk.
Dysprosium: Why would I write about you? I'm going.
Dysprosium runs away.
Cesium: Typical of him. He gets a detention afterwards.
a few hours later
Cesium: TIME IS UP! Show your essays to me. If they're incomplete, DETENTION!
Indium: Here's my essay!
cesium is a great great teacher because he gives the bad ones detentions. also his sky blue jacket is really cute and i would like to wear one. he has a good choice of clothing, should i say?
Cesium: Nice job, Indium! No detention today. I wear sky blue because it's my favorite color. Tin is next!
cesium is a good teacher because he is able to endure a class of annoying students like us. if he got an award, it would be "most durable." that's all what i've got to say.
Cesium: Wow. You actually explained my situation. You get a free cookie, Tin.
Everyone Else: NO FAIR!
Cesium: Hey! No complaining or detentions for you all! Next up is Rubidium!
Cesium is a bad teacher because he hates everyone in this class and enjoys giving students detentions. He has a bad music taste and deserves to be dropped into water. Cesium also spends half of his time yelling at his students. He should be fired and replaced by Potassium as a teacher.
cesium tears up rubidium's paper.
Cesium: Rubidium, you just got yourself yet ANOTHER detention.
Rubidium: You've already given me 5 detentions today.
Cesium: Detentions stack up, you know. You've got detentions for the next 5 weeks, you know.
Rubidium: SERIOUSLY!?
Cesium: Next up is Titanium!
i hate cesium
Cesium: No effort? Well good job, Titanium, YOU GOT YOURSELF ANOTHER DETENTION.
Beryllium: Uh, Cesium... did you notice three of your students are missing?
Cesium: I know Dysprosium is... wait... where are barium and strontium?
cesium hears an explosion behind him.
Cesium: Hold on class, I'm going outside.
As soon as Cesium leaves his class, the whole class goes haywire. Cesium goes outside to see that Strontium and Barium were playing with fireworks, and that the playground was destroyed.
Cesium: ...I have no words for this.
The two notice Cesium.
Barium: Oh hi, Cesium!
Cesium: YOU! YOU BLEW UP THE PLAYGROUND! strontium! barium! YOU BOTH ARE EXPELLED!
strontium lies down on the floor, crying.
Cesium: Oh dear Mendeleev...
Cesium comes back, holding Barium and Strontium by their backs.
Cesium: These two troublemakers are expelled. No recess until the parents of Barium & Strontium pay the FINE for destroying a playground.
indium rolls on the floor, crying.
Iridium: Oh, Indium, it's OK! I have to deal with Cesium in school, and Osmium AFTER school!
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Will Cesium EVER stop giving out detentions!? Will Selenium FINALLY appear? What happens when Gallium teaches school? Will Ytterbium and Yttrium FINALLY stop believing in unicorns? Will Lanthanum go on stage for once? Will Copper use his magic for good? Will Dysprosium STOP running away!?
Find out next time on...
RANDOMNESS!